I was adopted in 1979 by a couple of wonderful individuals. Those two people, my adoptive parents, have shaped the person I have become today. Their kindness and generosity towards others has allowed me to be able to share these same values with my own children. I start off by mentioning my parents because I feel the need to let you know that this piece of paper won’t change my relationship with them and it won’t magically change me either, but what it will do is fill a void that has been there all of my life.
Adoption plays a gigantic role in my life. I’m adopted, my brother is adopted, my eldest son was adopted by my husband, and my middle son is also adopted. Needless to say adoption is a part of my soul. Because both my middle son and I were adopted in different eras, I have had the privilege of seeing both sides of the adoption spectrum; closed system and open adoption.
I have experienced, as a young child, asking my adoptive parents where I came from, what my history is, what is my past, who am I? And them, broken-hearted, not being able to answer any of those questions for me. My adoptive parents had and continue to have the same yearning as I do, to know who and where I came from.
Fast-forward to 2011 to the adoption experience of my middle son, in which we have a completely open adoption. We have a relationship with his birthmother. We know her history, both medically and chronologically. We are able to share this with him now and when the time comes when he starts asking the same questions I asked as a young girl, but now we’ll have answers. The transformation that the institution of adoption has undertaken is absolutely wonderful.
So you see, this isn’t just a law that gives me a piece of paper. It is knowledge. It’s answers to questions that have never been answered. It’s power. It’s history. It is MY history.