The Trouble with Love – Adoptee Style
The wound of relinquishment may have a great deal of influence on the romantic attraction that adoptees sometimes experience. “Why do we marry the people we marry?” “How is it that romantic attraction leads us to one person and not to another?” Ron Nydam will dive into the topic and discuss whether the injury of relinquishment becomes the guiding point that informs adoptees concerning the way in which their love lives actually play out. This very unconscious process is key to a deeper understanding of why we love the way we love and shines a light on why many adoptees make unconscious choices “falling in love” that reflect an unfinished personal struggle with the impacts of relinquishment. It is precisely what we do not know about ourselves that gets us in the most trouble.
About Ron Nydam, Ph.D
Throughout his careers as a pastor, a counselor, and a professor, Ron has had a keen interest in the impact of relinquishment upon children who become adopted. “What is it like to lose first parents?” has been the guiding focus of his work for nearly 30 years. In conjunction with Bethany Christian Services, Ron produced a video, More than Love, which highlights the challenges that adoptees face as they mature into adulthood. Ron studied at the University of Denver, where his Ph.D. dissertation, Hope and Fantasy in the Lives of Relinquished and Adopted Adults, was a never-before-asked inquiry into the birth parent fantasies that adult adoptees live with as their growing up within the historically closed adoption system.
Ron has been a speaker on several occasions with the American Adoption Congress, of which he is a member. He has written many articles on the subject of relinquishment and adoption and is the author of two books; AdopteesCome of Age - review of the normal developmental challenges that adoptees face as they mature into adulthood and the second, Wise Adoptive Parenting: When kids struggle to adopt their parents - a guide for adoptive parents when they are raising children who have a compromised capacity for attachment. Presently, Ron is on the staff of PCD Counseling in Denver, Colorado, where his primary focus is offering therapy to adoption triad members.
Ron can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org
His books can be found on Amazon and at bookstores across the country:
Adoptees Come of Age
Wise Adoptive Parenting